Hai, this is Catherine Hanson, normally, I created video for teen girls but today I wanna give video just for you parents. Recently, I received the request from reported and she was looking for tips and ideas how to give advice for teen. This is right up my Alice
So, here what I wrote for the reporters
My name is Cathaline Hanson and I am known as a teen confident coach. I speak in schools, in used conferences and mother daughter than all of the country. I give lot of advice for teen between and I receive daily email from girls from all of the world and the best part of all actually listen me and reached out and ask for help. I have ask my website and I encourage girls to email me and I answered their question in the directly to them on my blog or video like this.
This girl really wants to me guided and they are desperate for some answer and for some relief to help with that struggle of not being or feeling good enough just the way they are.
So, here is some of the tips that I used, that I suggested parents to use to open communication and retelling advice for your teens.
Number 1, Be honest and dare to be valuable share your own experience as an example of what word and what did. This is one of the hardest things for you parents with meet, double six but you know what is really open the lines of communication when you meet you are not perfect and you don’t have all the answer. You had to learn hard way from your own mistake, kids really open up and really respect for the parents that can be honest for their own mistake.
Number 2, Don’t think you have the all thing answer. It’s more about helping to find their truth and teach them how the really trust how to look within and trust themselves for their own guess.
Number 3, WIIFM. Teens twins and everyone for that matter wearing a set of imaginary headphone. There are 2 destination that WIIFM, What is it for me, is your advice has to be shape and give in the way that your kids know what is the benefit, what should I listen to you and what is it important for me. When I give the speech, I have to know who is the on the on instead of what I am saying. Benefit my listener. Otherwise, the system the noise everyone one sitting wondering. What is the have to do with me and if you can wrap your advice in a way that would really show your kids how is gonna help and listen this is really can help you to attractive great guided to your life.
Instead of just” Are you not date in him over midnight body” Do you see the differences how tuning it in to what for them really benefit that.
Number 4, Avoid the word should. You should avoid that word. No one like to be should all over” You should do this and you should do that also avoid figure way in nobody like to be told what to do like this.
Number 5, Really listen and affirm what they going to. For example If your eleven your old daughter ask she get a drama and boy is dating and assist to you. “Oh…..what should I do, this guy is really crashed on really like the order girl. The lasting you wanna do is “phu-phu” her “ oh honey, you are 11 years old for goodness six. You get plenty of time to dating with boys. What you really wanna do is to firm. “ Oh, honey, I can see you really struggle in with this. What do you like about this guy?”. See the hold of to help her get the clear what she wants. So much get that guy it’s about she want feeling being love, being to be having attention. And just you paying attention her validate your feeling were actually give her those feeling that is she is looking for and help her get clear what she is looking for eventually about the soul mate. It’s not about actually courage that particular guy but help you get clear about what is she want.
Number 6, Higher alive coach each other. Little self surfing eliminated but I have own my website a list of top ten reason higher alive coach for your daughter and girls stand to listen to someone who isn’t their mother. I am sorry to say it but it absolutely true.
I was recently coaching at 20 something with their old teacher and she is feeling really sluggish and run down, and I suggested” Sarah, perhaps you might wanna consider taking vitamin maybe you are diet isn’t giving you enough energy to fuel your body and you really need supplement with vitamins.
Well, she took my suggested instead of start it better and but she hasn’t mention to her mom that she takes the vitamin.” I can’t believe with Sarah. After all of the years of training that she get and take vitamin and now you coach suddenly tell you take the vitamin and when you take the vitamin”
I am sorry to say, sometimes listened the advice from someone works better. So, she might swallow you pride and open your wallet and higher life coach for your daughter. And again, it’s not about me telling your daughter what to do but me helping her get clear what she want and providing tool strategy that will shape her decision to lead her tool circle and it remarkable since you make relationship and really a blessing.
Number 7, Attend mother daughter workshop together. A good facility like myself will ask stop for question and will involved deep and meaningful conversation where you can springboard and offers by the true deeper communication.
Number 8, Help they get clear idea what they really want while identifying irony as police about the situation. For example, she might say something like “ Mom, everybody have boyfriend, or there is something wrong with me because I have boyfriend”
Those to believe are totally illusion that she made in her mind seem not happened but not actually true. You get care of her believe and get help her illuminate those irony as police and help her to get care who she is and deerfly of love and created relationship and what she is does and when she know who she is, she would effort listen to interact friends and for loving relationship into her life. When she learn to love herself. But believe like “everybody has boyfriend around every get boyfriend” It just believe that is not surfing her.
Number 9. Help her see the future and think trough about the decision. You see the teen brain is not fully form and kids really don’t have ability to process that, If I do this, there might be removable that, but if you continue they help to see how their decision might play, then they have memory in their mind and they work out to make choice because you already discussion each different scenarios. In alchoholic enormous were twelve recovery groups. They encourage with covering alcoholic, to think trough the drink and other words “don’t make a decision based on path of the motion in the moment. You think to the drank if I have this drink that be more drink and I’ll be back in the bar and I lose my feeling I’ll be right back in reheat. Think the drink, help your kids think this decision, if you go the party and you drink, how you get to home? how that affect your goal when you wanna go to school? How that affect other people see you in the community? That suggest opportunity” you are not shaking your finger, you helping them visualize the future advance and choose wisely because their brain can’t do that. You help them to do that. And finally, here is the bonus tip.
Maybe there is something that you and your daughter can do but maybe keep a journal on the kitchen counter you might name perfectly in perfect family or clumsy but compassion in conversation that and leave it counter for you and your daughter and maybe one day you will know rather little know the journal and leave for your daughter to see what you wrote that day.
Be really honest whether not to go back being valuable like mom is feeling like a mother very good mother in day that the houses best that I do make your lunches and I feel charm but dear I love you. You, know the dear write down in the journal and then maybe you daughter said “ Mom I forgive you, I was feel best today and I’ll work hard to keep it clean. But don’t be have any expectation, being it be hard journal, they just leave on the counter and trying up new. You know feel like right back to me and see what happened. So those some great tips and I encourage you to visit my blog and share with me your great tips on how to give advice to your teen what works and what hasn’t together we can make their world a brighter future for our kids. So, until next time I am Catheline Hanson your confident coach.
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